Where Was The Last Place You Saw It?

Men are always misplacing things—the car keys, wallet, cell phone, the remote. But in Kinshasha, the capital of the Democratic Republic of Congo, the item currently topping the list is penis. They aren’t exactly misplacing them. According to reports, many Kinshasha men are suffering at the hands of sorcerers stealing or shrinking their penises. These masters of the dark arts are accused of using some super-mojo black magic to cast a spell (which, in most parts of the world, is known as “impotency”) to make off with the victim’s junk.

The allegations are serious for the thirteen "sorcerers" who’ve been arrested, mainly as a way to protect them until the panic subsides. A decade ago in Ghana, twelve suspected penis poachers were beaten to death during a similar harvest.

As I see it, there’s a very simple solution: a visit from the sorcerer who restores penises, the one known as Viagra.