Dear Author
We deeply regret having to use this form letter
Dear Author
Please be assured
Dear Author
Your work is like piss in the Pacific
Dear Author
It pains us to inform you
Dear Author
Your rent is due
Dear Author
Look unto the mailbox
from whence cometh your next soul-crushing rejection letter
Dear Author
Why do you continue to torture yourself this way?
Dear Author
What makes you think anyone wants to read your
pitiful little moments of joy or beauty or truth or revelation
Your ornate ways of presenting simplicity
Your overt attempts to turn the mundane
into a thing of transcendent glory
Your supine opine
Your so-called clever use of alliteration
Your assonance and innocence
Your metaphors and mindfucks
Your illusions and invitations
Your passions and sorrows
Pains and sufferings
Your subtle repetition for dramatic affect
Your attempts to build to a climactic rise and clever resolution
That will fall into the lap of your reader like a ripe plum
Surprising him with its satisfying sweetness
Bringing a small smile to the corner of her unwitting mouth
And carving the merest notch
into the edge of a heart brimming with discontent.
Dear Author
We wish you luck.
by Julie Hall, in celebration of a drawer full of rejection letters.
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