Monday, August 11, 2008

Invisibility Cloak: F*** Yeah!

Geeks, freaks and the criminally insane, get ready to pop open some Fanta and JD, or maybe a vial of kitten blood and some pure oxygen. The invisibility cloak is one step closer to reality. Thanks to the brilliant minds at University of California Berkeley, you may soon be able to confirm the belief of those around you that you don’t actually exist.

While other scientists are busy looking for a way to keep our vital organs from aging, California’s best and brightest are looking for ways to finally give us all the superpowers we’ve been fantasizing about. This is why I thank God every day that I live in California. That, and the fact that I can eat outdoors in November, never get a mosquito bite, participate in a massive community pillow fight, and so many more reasons that I won’t go into because California is already crowded enough. Stay where you are. (Yes, I know there are plenty of other great places. I’ve tried a few. They have much to offer…if you’ve never been to California.)

So what of this amazing development in the superpower arena? It’s all due to the creation of a new material that bends light around 3D objects, thus making them disappear. That's the crux of it, but there's more scientific lingo to explain it in greater detail here.

Aside from being a great way to sneak around castles, evade Snape, and steal North Korean nuclear secrets, what real good is an invisibility cloak? How will this advance society? Sure it can get you backstage at a Coldplay concert. Been there. And trust me, you don’t need the cloak to be invisible. If you’ve been dreaming about following your buff neighbor around the house to answer the age-old question of boxers or briefs, maybe there’s some value here. Or you could eavesdrop on you boss, but do you really want to know how much the new guy is getting paid. Can your ulcer take it?

I’m waiting for the pill that can make me fly. I guess for some, that already exists. But I want the one that comes without rehab and a ruptured spleen.

No comments: