Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Out Now: Smug 2.0

According to a recent study, if you really, really like gadgets you are probably an arrogant prick. And if you’re an early adopter, even worse.

An online study of 25,000 American adults revealed a strong correlation between a love of technology and personality traits like leadership, dynamism and assertiveness coupled with serious lack of modesty. Is this really all that surprising? Did they really need to do a study to know that the guy texting away on his Blackberry in the middle of “Atonement” doesn’t really give a shit that he is distracting me from a spectacular film experience. Sure, he’s not talking, but I cannot concentrate on James McAvoy’s intensity with that little screen glowing to my right like a hole in the universe sucking every ounce of sexually charged air right out of the theater.

Did they really need a study to tell them that the people toting their Powerbooks around like newborns, Bluetooth earpieces making them look like half cyber-Spock, half human, while they appear to converse with the trees outside Starbucks, are probably not the most humble among us?

The study found that those who rated highly in assertiveness were 62 percent more likely to buy the latest model of a cell phone when it hits the market. Uh huh. And from this sort of data, they extrapolated that “those who are really assertive are the types to grab life by the horn” and that “when they see something they want or like, they go straight for it.” How much money was spent on this study?

Does all this embracing of the wonders of technology really equate with arrogance as the study concluded? (“Avid tech consumers were also likely to be low on modesty and may be perceived as conceited or arrogant.”) Or are they just basing their findings on having seen one too many Mac vs. PC ad? (I am beginning to feel a little sorry for PC at this point. Come on, Mac guy. Lay off already. It’s clear that PC is not as cool or clever as you are. You’re kind of becoming a bully.)

Could it simply be that those of us who have maxed out the icons in our dock or have stopped into the Apple store at least ten times to ask if the new iPhone is in yet are just eager adventurers on the technology highway of life? Wouldn’t Lewis and Clark have been the first guys to own a Garmin had it been available in 1804?

Our household has purchased three Mac laptops in the last six months. And we’re waiting anxiously for July 11 when the new 3G iPhone hits stores. What a bunch of insufferable ***holes we are.

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